Memoir Advice – PAMELA JANE

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Dream Your Way to Writing Your Memoir: Five Tips

“Dreams are real while we have them; can we say more of life?” –anonymous My seventeenth year was a nightmare (a waking one!) My parents were in the middle of a bitter divorce, my mother had recently had a nervous breakdown, and my dad was having an affair. Late at night, through the heating vent by my bed, I could hear my father’s angry voice and my mother’s sobs in the downstairs rec room. It was a painful and volatile time but my older brother, who was away at college, kept urging me to keep our parents together and our family intact. I had no idea how I was supposed to accomplish this. Further more, I didn’t want to. “I’m not interested in all this parent shit,” I wrote back. “I just want to get out of here.” It would take me decades to discover that this was not the voice of a callous teenager but of a heart-broken young … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Just Wait! A short story rejected in grade school becomes a cause of action

In elementary school, back in the 1950s, we were never given writing assignments, and I never imagined there were any living authors. I pictured a cemetery filled with tombstones of my favorite writers with their last names first, like card catalogs in the library: Baum, L. Frank 1856-1919. Writing – the pleasure of articulating interior worlds sensed but not seen – was something I did on my own. I was in eighth grade before I got a chance to write a story for school. My eighth-grade English teacher, Mr. Mortem, was a malevolent-looking man with a low brow and small beady eyes. We joked that he moonlighted as an axe murderer. But he was even scarier as an English teacher. He terrorized us with menacing-sounding exams called “evaluations,” which turned out to be ordinary multiple-choice tests. But he was the first teacher to give us an assignment to write a short story. “Remember,” Mr. Mortem called as we filed out of class, “no stories from TV!” I hardly heard him. I was … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: September 2016

Dear Pamela

I am having great difficulty in writing a synopsis for my memoir… No matter how much I seem to read about synopsis they don’t seem to cover memoir synopsis. My book is written in prose and verse and short story format. My book is called ‘Cuz I’m Mixed’ It’s about me as a young girl growing up in a culturally diverse mixed race family. Any suggestions you have I know would help…So if you can HELP I would be most thankful. Yours truly, Sharon-Seeking-Synopsis-Advice Dear Sharon-Seeking-Synopsis-Advice, Thank you so much for your question about writing a memoir synopsis. I think that any synopsis is difficult to write (even a synopsis for someone else’s book) so imagine how difficult it is to encapsulate the essence of a story you are so close to, a story in fact that is you. You won’t believe this, but when I thought about your question and researched “how to write a memoir synopsis” I found … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

No One Feels Sorry for You When You’re Living in Tuscany!

Village in Tuscany

When my family moved to Florence for a year, I had my new Italian life all planned – long afternoons gazing at masterpieces of Italian art at the famous Uffizi, leisurely evenings at a trattoria, sipping wine. In the mornings, I would work on the memoir I was writing (no distractions like back home!) while my husband taught at NYU’s Florence Campus, and our four-year old, Annelise, attended an Italian preschool. This was going to be so great! Walking with Annelise to school that first morning, the gold Italian light shone softly on the ancient, shuttered buildings. We passed a man in a leather apron standing outside a shoe repair shop, a fragrant panneteria, and a pint-sized piazza that gave the neighborhood a charming small-town feeling. My spirits soared. What a great experience for all of us! At home, I settled down in the breezy, light-filled living room to write. But suddenly noises exploded in the apartment overhead – pounding, … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: August 2016

Dear Pamela

I DO have a question . . . I have finished the first draft of my memoir and am currently working on a Proposal for submission to agents. I also have a friend (met at a writing conference) who is just a little ahead of me in the game and is ready to submit to agents (manuscript professionally edited, proposal ready to go). She has, however, built her proposal completely online and I wonder if this is a newer trend. Her website is password locked, so that she can provide access to agents or publishers that are interested, once a query letter has been received and they want more information. The site has all of the proper proposal sections (Intro, Summary, Competitive Titles, Marketing Plans, Bio, Chapter Synopsis and even Sample Chapters). Is this the wave of the future? Thanks, Looking-for-Book-Proposal-Advice Laureen Dear Laureen-Looking-for-Book-Proposal-Advice, Thank you for your question regarding memoir proposals, and congratulations on completing the first draft of … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: July 2016

Dear Pamela

My mother is the primary “other” character in my memoir. I don’t know how much emphasis I should put into describing her. And I wonder if I should put all the description right up front or do I develop her over time? Should I give a physical description? What else should I do? An emotional description? A personality description? –Ally Asking-for-Advice Dear Ally Asking-for-Advice, Thank you for your question, which I know many writers, myself included, have struggled with. Since your mother is a primary character in your memoir, it’s important to give your readers a mental, emotional, and physical “picture” of her, but you do not have to do this upfront. Let your mother’s physicality and personality emerge gradually, over time, both in direct descriptions and in scenes. Here are some tips: Tip #1. In a separate document, write down everything you can think of about your mother – how she looks, how she talks, how she acts and … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: June 2016

Dear Pamela

I am writing a memoir about my breast cancer journey that is aimed at helping cancer survivors deal with their cancer. I would like to include reflection about things such as how I made my decisions, what I found most helpful, and what helped me relieve stress. I am writing in the first person. Can you give me some suggestions about how to weave such reflections into the memoir and refer me to memoirs to read that would be good examples of this? Thank you. — Jane-Reflecting-on-Cancer-Survivor-Memoir Dear Jane-Reflecting-on-Cancer-Survivor-Memoir, Your book about surviving breast cancer will benefit many readers, including those whose friends or family have grappled with breast cancer. Congratulations on working on this memoir. There are several ways to construct your narrative. Begin by asking yourself the following two questions (it may help to write down the answers). Question #1. What is the main story you want to tell? In other words, what is the most important element … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: May 2016

Dear Pamela

“I have been compelled to undertake writing my first memoir at age 54. That was about four months ago. Do you feel it is VITAL to have support or support systems in place to help you? If so, do you have any ideas for how to find support? I am very low on funds and would love to just find some free friends or fellow memoir writers to buddy up with. It does seem daunting to me at times doing this all alone. Thanks.–Michelle Seeking Support System Dear Michelle Seeking Support System, Thank you for your question which, I’m sure, is one that many writers struggle with. It is not easy to sit in a room and write alone, with no encouragement or feedback. Although it’s not essential to have writing support, you mentioned that the idea of doing it alone seems daunting. Consequently, I think you would find a writing companion – whether a group, a fellow writer, or … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

Dear Pamela: April 2016

Dear Pamela

I am co-creating a memoir-writing class at our church. When this was first proposed, someone said we shouldn’t do it because writing a memoir might call up too many strong emotions from someone, presumably with difficulties in their lives, like childhood abuse or an abusive marriage or loss of a child. We are going ahead with the project, but how would you respond to such an objection, and, more importantly, how to help attendees with such challenges? I’ve always thought that writing was one of the best ways to re-address and help heal such challenges from the distance of time and perspective. — Carol at Church Dear Carol at Church, Thank you for your excellent and thought-provoking question. I’m pleased to hear you are going ahead with the class! As I’m sure you know, many memoirs are filled with (or contrasted by) joy and laughter, as well as poignancy or sadness, and not everyone in your class will want to … Read on

Pamela Jane is the author of over thirty books from board books to memoir. She is also a writing coach, freelance writer, and public speaker. Learn more about her by booking a school visit, perusing her blog, or reading her memoir, An Incredible Talent for Existing: A Writer's Story.

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